Anodyne: A Pretentious, Depressing Zelda Clone

How many times you bought a game bundles from HumbleBundle.com or BundleStar.com just for one or two games and suddenly you have some many games in your Steam account, including what you have from Steam sales, games you paid full-priced and you decide to play some of those?

This is my case: I have close to 400 games on my Steam, and I have barely played even 5% of the whole list. And since the PC I usually play some of the major stuff, like Batman Arkham games, Metro 2033, Bioshock Infinite, Shadow Warrior isn't mine, and I have a Toshiba A2000 with Vista on it as my PC, I result to stuff that don't require the same computing power as the ones mentioned above. Some of those games were Deus Ex GOTY Edition (the original, the best, and my #1 game ever), Duke Nukem 3D Megaton Edition and Shadow Warrior Classic Redux (both are the original by 3D Realms).

Which brings us to Anodyne, one of those games I got from a bundle of HumbleBundle.com, which I didn't want to get, since it was a part of the PC and Android 7 bundle, which had The Bard's Tale (the PS2 one) and Organ Trail: Director's Cut, which I wanted mostly. And I noticed it on my Steam library, checked vids and such and I DL'ed to my laptop.

So, what's like? Take Legend of Zelda, make Hyrule a gloomy and depressing world, remove Zelda of course, give Link a stick, and instead of treasures, you collect cards that unlocks the final dungeon.

You control Young, in his dream world and you are tasked by the Sage to protect the Briar. In order to do said task, you have to go around areas, dungeons and collect 36 cards in order to enter to the Briar. I never understood why you even need to collect cards, what's truly about and it tries to bring out some philosophy about life, happiness, purposes but it comes out very badly written and pretentious and out of place. Plus, they are cases of uncaused and uncalled profanity with no reason whatsoever being there in the first place, only for the reason of trying to make it edgy, dark and "mature".

And it's not just a Zelda clone, it's a fucking rip-off. You can tell that right away from how it looks, feels and plays. You go from dungeon to dungeon, kill monsters, kill the bosses, take the treasure and move to the next dungeon. The kicker is, that you weapon is a fucking broom, you don't change it with anything better (like, say..... a sword), the rest of the items you can find are some optional upgrades for your broom which I never felt they were doing anything major, jumping shoes that are needed to jump gaps and some ridiculous jumping puzzles which feel like breaking the game and one belt that allows you to move blocks, which is useful only in the end and, of course heart upgrades. Due to having no variation to items, skills and gameplay, it's getting dull and boring fast. It is a short game, but it feels like a long one. Combat is boring and feels like a drag, especially in bosses. All of them are hit and run, it never goes beyond that, after than some mechanics in the dungeon you are on, like water. And many times, I felt like breaking the game, since some traps and jumps must be either bugged or incomplete.

The worlds you visit are kinda out of place with no connection between them. You have a dark forest, then you go to a lake area, then a beach and another forest and a cliff which are fine, but then comes a black and white town where you can kill people and invincible ghosts killing you in 1 or 2 shots, an 8-bit maze with invincible ghouls, a circus cave, a hotel, a place with purple skies and polygonal shapes as NPC's which are like "DAFUQ?". While the graphics and music for each aread are unique and beautiful, they don't save them from being out of place.

Speaking of grpahics and music, those are the only good parts of Anodyne. Each area is unique, beautiful to see and hear. The music arranges to 8-bit and 16-bit music to piano and I liked it. At least in those parts, I felt there was a big effort to make the game good or at least make it worth the price to buy it. But it still doesn't make it play it again. Hell, after playing it once, I doubt you will come back for it, maybe mostly for the "100% of items and cards under 3 hours achievement", but that's it. After seeing the credits, you won't go back it.

If it wasn't for Humble Bundle, I doubt I would even go to its store page and see what it's about. On Steam, it's 8 euros, or the equivalent for dollars and pounds, and for that price it's too much and not worth it. It tries to win you with being a Zelda clone, but really just because it looks like it, doesn't mean it will be that good or any good at all. And this is where I thank Humble Bundle for saving me the money I'd blow away on this game.